I learned a lot the first time around…
I had started a new job somewhere around 20 weeks pregnant with Ella; so I have very little paid time off to fund my maternity leave. But it would be okay; I would have a peaceful unmedicated delivery, bounce back and be ready to be back at work 6 weeks postpartum.
Except that is not how it actually went down. After 23.5 hours of labor, a c-section, and some postpartum depression to top it all off, I struggled with having to return to work at 8 weeks postpartum. I had just begun adjusting to life as a mommy when I had to return to work; flip my life upside again and starting the adjustment period all over again.
I had planned to plan my wedding and learn to play the piano during my maternity leave with Ella. I did manage to throw together a few things for our wedding; my wedding dress, an appointment to get my hair done, an email invitation, and catering but I had enough to do taking care of wee baby Ella and myself.
I knew better the second time…
I didn’t make any plans for my maternity leave this time around. The extent of my plans were to take off the maximum amount of time FMLA allows (12 weeks) and cash in all of my paid time off and take advantage of the short-term disability I had been paying into to have some money to get by on.
I am lucky to work for a company that allows for an “extended leave of absence” after having a baby; which is a nice way of saying I can take 6 months off (including the 12 weeks FMLA) but it only pays if you have paid time off and it is the employee’s responsibility to continue to pay their portion of their health insurance.
It would have been impossible for our new family of four to get by on just Paddy’s paycheck but we figured we would work it to allow us to save up the maximum amount of money. We figured if I worked part time in February (month 4) from home and then returned to work and started Audrey in daycare in March, we could save a little with Ella moving up to a slightly less expensive class in February/March.
Check out my video, where I reflect on maternity leave at the end of my 12 week FMLA.
What actually happened was…
I took my 12 week FMLA and worked from home part time in February but I still was not ready to send Audrey to daycare.
Audrey was the perfect little coworker; napping, quietly playing in her exersaucer, and snuggling while I worked. Armed with a month’s worth of “evidence”, it was easy to convince my boss to allow me to work from home full time until my 6 months were up in the beginning of May.
It may have taken me 10 hours to get 8 hours of work done, and sometimes I found myself working late at night and early in the morning, but I got my work done while being home with my littlest babe.
I had waffled about “taking” the whole 6 months but I am glad I did. I will treasure many of the memories that would not have been possible if I had returned to the office sooner.
My tiny coworker listening as I work on data entry from home to extend my maternity leave.
Going to Daycare
I remember the overwhelming guilt of leaving my itty-bitty, 8 week old Ella at daycare. I had carefully selected a daycare that I trusted and that I clicked with the caregivers, but it still was a struggle.
The thought of doing the same thing, except with an older baby seemed like it should be easier…Nope!
Before deciding to work from home, I struggled. Was it fair to Ella for Audrey to have this extra time at home with Mommy? Especially after she already had an extra four weeks of undivided attention? Was I spoiling Audrey? Holding her back from making friends and beginning her education journey?
Loving nudges from friends and family assured me it would be okay and to do what would be best for me.
I had all the same first day of daycare worries I had on Ella’s first day. I still felt all of the working momma guilt.
In the end, it took Audrey a little longer to adjust; she was fussier and struggled more with the bottle.
Today I have two little girls that smile when they go into daycare and come home smiling after fun days playing and learning with friends.
I would love to hear your maternity leave experiences. Did you take the full 12 weeks or only a portion of it? Did you make plans for during your maternity leave? How was your first day of daycare experiences?
